Single Females = Flakes

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R.I.P. Club Sesso

Last month, Ron Jeremy's Club Sesso was forced to close it's doors here in Portland.   Due to a long standing legal battle with the city of Portland, they've had to pay out over $100,000 in attorney fees over the past few years, and it reached the point where it just wasn't worth the hassle anymore.

It's a shame because we always looked forward to the great Halloween parties they used to throw, as well as Ron Jeremy's annual birthday party.   It was also the only "classy" swingers club in the area that didn't look like a whore house.   Hopefully they'll open up in another location soon.

Also we've heard a rumor that a particular bar at one of the Red Lion restaurants in Vancouver, WA is closing down.   This place is a popular swingers hangout, and on some nights it wouldn't be out of the ordinary to see a woman dressed in a slightly see-through blouse showing off her nipples.   Seems like this area is going to be lacking for couples that love being part of the swinging lifestyle.

Pavlov's Dog (Rewarding Bad Behavior From Women)

Women have had this figured out for ages.  If a guy isn't acting right, they act accordingly.  They may give you the silent treatment.  Even worse, they withhold sex.

Nice Guys on the other hand do things backwards.  If their woman seems to be in a sour mood or just doesn't seem to be acting right, they buy her gifts.  We take her out on a date, or buy flowers.  When a woman isn't having sex often enough for our liking, we try to do something romantic thinking this will get her to give us more sex.  Isn't that what all those articles (written by women of course) tell us we should do?

The problem here is that you are actually rewarding her bad behavior.

What you're doing is actually teaching her that it's okay for her to treat you the way she does.  Every time she withholds sex, she gets a nice dinner.  Every time she is acting like a brat, you show her more affection.  If you have a kid that's pouting or isn't acting right, would you go and buy them some ice cream to reward the way they're acting?  If your best buddy was acting rude, would you treat him to a sporting event to get him to be nice?  Of course not, so why do it with your woman?

This is how a lot of REALLY attractive women behave.  Because she's pretty, people have been kissing her ass her whole life.  Why should she change the way she behaves if you're still catering to her every whim?

I shake my head at men who only get sex a few times a month buying their women jewelry or gifts.  A woman isn't paying you a lot of attention, and you go buy her some flowers.  Why in God's name would you do that?  If anything you should STOP doing those things until her behavior changes.  (By the way guys, a woman who tries to use sex as a weapon or a bargaining chip isn't somebody you want to be with in the first place.)  I'm not just preaching this from the mountain top either, I've made this mistake a few times myself.  I know what these men are going through because I've been there.

When my wife was thinking of leaving me (for another guy of course), I was at my worst.  Even one of my guy friends was telling me I need to buy flowers, perfume, candy, etc.  I was giving her massages, buying flowers, preparing romantic candlelit dinners, etc....almost for a month straight.   Even took her on a surprise getaway.  All because that's what society conditions us guys to do if something is wrong in our relationship.  Once I actually found out what was REALLY going on in my relationship, all that nice treatment came to a SCREECHING HALT.

Between you and me, all those massages and dinners did NOTHING to force her to make a decision.  Only when I got my balls back and basically told her to piss or get off the pot (make a decision) did things change.  Women don't like or respect wimps, aka Nice Guys.

What you need to do is flip the script here.  You have to reward GOOD behavior.  The same way women have us trained (wash her car, get a blowjob, etc) is what you need to do.  Your woman gives you a surprise blowjob downstairs in the living room....reward her with a massage or a movie night.  A woman gives you sex 3 or 4 times in a week, treat her to a romantic dinner.

You get the picture.  Women have been doing this to us for ages, it's time we learn the tricks of the trade.

Always remember, what gets rewarded gets repeated.

Dating Women With Kids

I'm going to get slammed for writing this, but I don't care....

If you're in your 30's and 40's, most of the women you are trying to date will have kids.  Now understand that there is nothing inherently wrong with dating a woman who has kids.  Do understand however, that the life of a step parent isn't going to be like an episode of the Brady Bunch.  Marriages where step kids are involved are almost twice as likely to fail than most "normal" marriages.  I'm not here to preach about whether you should or should not date someone with kids, because there are plenty of other resources out there for that.  I'm going to approach this from an entirely different angle.

Now most women who have kids aren't going to have a tremendous amount of free time.  There's soccer practice, dance lessons, band practice, and hundreds of other activities which will eat up your prospective date's time.  So lets say you start dating a woman with kids.  Things are going great, as she has plenty of time to go on dates with you, watch TV, and all the other things two people who are dating should be doing.  You start thinking to yourself that this is awesome, because of course she's giving you all the sex you can handle.  One question you should be asking yourself:

Where the hell is her kid????

See most guys are just happy they're finally getting a steady supply of sex, and this question never crosses their mind.  If you've been dating a woman with a kid for a few months and it seems like she always has time to meet up with you, or is always at your house riding you like a rodeo cowboy, there's something wrong with this picture.   Seriously wrong.   As a matter of fact this should be a huge red flag.  How is it that she has all this free time to spend with you when she has a kid to raise?  Once again, I know what you're thinking.  You're thinking you've got this sex goddess giving you more pink taco than you've had in a long while, why should you care where her kid is?  I'll tell you why.

First off, if she's spending all of that time with you, that means someone else is having to raise her kid.  It could be her parents, grandparents, another relative or friend...but the bottom line is that somebody else is stuck taking care of HER child while she's rolling around the sheets with you.  This shows a tremendous lack of responsibility on her part.  This lack of responsibility usually manifests itself in other ways too.  The women who are too irresponsible to take care of their child are the same ones who are too irresponsible to keep a job for any longer than a few months, are always behind on their rent, (if they're not sponging off of mom and dad) and they're always broke.

I know.  I know.  You love getting a constant supply of booty, so here's the part where you'll make excuses for her.  "The father has custody of the kids, that's why she doesn't have them often."  I'm about to burst that bubble as well.   We all know the court system in most countries will side with the female parent when it comes to custody of the kids.  Unless a mom walks into court with a needle dangling from her arm while she smokes a joint, it's pretty much a forgone conclusion on who is going to win a custody battle.

So in other words, you pretty much have to be an absolute asshole of a mom in order for a judge to award custody to a father.  Even then the dad's chances of winning are slim.  So if you're dating a woman and her ex has custody of her child, she's probably a piece of crap lowlife, or she wanted nothing to do with her kid in the first place.

You say you still don't care?  Let me throw this at you.  What if you get her pregnant?  Who do you think will be taking care of that kid once it's born?  If you don't know the answer to this, hold up a mirror and take a long stare.

That's right, you will be raising that kid by yourself.  She will have moved on to the next chump while you're stuck at home changing diapers.  She'll be out wasting her money on nightclubs and having fun while you're trying to figure out how you're going to afford daycare.  Now do you get the picture?

If a woman has a kid and she doesn't have custody or is always able to meet you at a moments notice....

Run.

Just run.

Run as fast as you can away from that loser because don't want anything to do with a mom who doesn't care about providing for her kids.

Paying For Affection (also known as Dating)

It pains me to see guys bending over backwards trying to please women that have no interest in them whatsoever.  I've witnessed it firsthand and have been guilty of it myself in the past.  I've seen guys spend hundreds, and even thousands of dollars over the course of a few months for women and still not get laid.   I've also seen women use a guy to get a Coach purse, a free trip somewhere, and even a down payment for a car.

What's even funnier is the guys who these women ARE having sex with aren't even putting forth much of an effort.  The guys they're sleeping with don't even have to buy a Happy Meal, much less take them to a nice restaurant.  Furthermore, most women who are worth a damn would never allow to a guy to buy her all those things in the first place, so that should be your first clue that you're being taken advantage of.

Guys, think about the last woman you had sex with.  I mean really think about it.  Did you have to take her on an endless amount of dates to get laid?  Did you have to spend months getting to know her?  Chances are you didn't have to do any of these things.  The woman liked you and wanted to have sex with you, and it didn't take a lot of effort on your part either.  The problem most guys have is they waste countless weeks and months pursuing women who have no interest in them whatsoever.
Think about it.  If a woman actually LIKES you, why would she not want to have sex with you?

There are those rare occurrences when you run across a woman who says she wants to be celibate.  The trick here is to figure out if she's really wanting to abstain from sex altogether, or if she just wants to abstain from having sex with YOU.  The key is to look at what she DOES, not what she says.

If you find that it's difficult to arrange dates with this woman or find that you're always calling her and she doesn't initiate many phone calls, then you're probably being played.  If you're having to beg, borrow, and steal for the tiniest bit of affection from her then you need to look elsewhere.  Even if a woman really is wanting to be celibate, she will still let you know that she really likes you in other ways.  She'll still want to spend time with you, hold your hand, will invite you over for dinner, etc.

Don't be a fool and waste your time and money on women who have no interest in you.  Like I always say if you really want to waste your money, go to the nearest strip club.  At least you'll get to see naked women in exchange for your hard-earned dollars.

Intima Resort Tulum Review (Clothing Optional)

The wife and I are always interested in checking out new clothing-optional/swinger resorts.  In my opinion, there's nothing like being able to walk around naked amongst other naked people.  It also means a lot less hassle when figuring out what to pack.  We hadn't had a vacation in quite a while, so we checked out Mak Nuk Village in Tulum, Mexico.   That was the name of the resort when we visited, but they have now changed it to Intima Resort.

It's a small but beautiful resort.  Being pretty new, all of the rooms are in excellent condition.  This isn't your typical hotel room, as the rooms are actually condos that have owners but are rented out.  We stayed in a 1 bedroom condo that had a full kitchen, living room, and a full sized refrigerator.  The condo seemed like it was about 900 sq ft in size.  The floors were nicely tiled and we stayed in a swim-up suite.  There were gigantic sliding glass doors leading out to the pool.  At the time we stayed, our condo was only $160 a night.

As nice as the rooms were, I really want to give this place 5 stars but I just can't.  You'll fly into Cancun, and it's about an hour and a half drive to the Tulum area of Mexico.  Pro Tip:  If you've never flown into Cancun before, pay no attention to the people inside the airport offering transportation.  They are ALL timeshare people.  Most of them will even lie and pretend to offer assistance.

When we arrived, there were only two other couples staying there, and one of the couples left the next morning.  So for three days there was only one other couple, and then for our last three days we literally were the only couple there.  It made for a relaxing time, but to be honest some days we got a little bored and wished there were people to talk to.  So if you're looking for a fun week, I'd suggest going on a week where there is a lifestyle takeover or special event.  You may also want to book a 1/2 day tour (we went snorkeling in a cenote, also visited the Mayan ruins)

One complaint is the beach owned by the resort is like 40 minutes away, and they said there is literally nothing there at that beach so we'd have to bring our own drinks and food.  Also since no one was hardly at the resort, there was no cook or anything so we had to buy our own meals.  You can buy a weeks worth of food at the supermarket for less than $100. 

Another knock on the resort is that it's on a dark. isolated street.  You'll have to walk a few blocks before you finally get on the main road where there are places to eat, and vendors.  Jut make sure you plan accordingly so you aren't walking back down that road in the pitch dark.  I'm a guy who can handle myself in a fight, but I was nervous walking back to the resort with my wife because it's so dark, and thick bushes and trees are on each side of the street.  I would honestly suggest renting a car because of this, and also the supermarket is about a 30 minute walk.   Otherwise you'll want to get the manager to call a taxi for you.

Another downside to the resort is they have no cable or satellite TV.  They do have free WiFi and they have Apple TV.  Apple TV doesn't do any good though unless you already have a subscription to Netflix, Hulu, etc.  Granted if there had been more people at the resort to interact with, we probably wouldn't have been in the room as much.  Also the tap water is not drinkable, so it can be a bit of a hassle to brush your teeth.  The water and ice from the fridge come from bottled water, so that's safe.

The resort also had a bit of an ant problem as well.  The other couple told us they were a lot of ants in their room when they checked in, and they made the maintenance staff spray for ants.  We didn't see any when we checked in so we didn't really think about it.  Then one evening we left a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter and left for a few hours.  When we came back, there were tons of ants everywhere, and there was a long line of ants coming in from the next room.  Took us a while to clear out all of the ants and we had to leave our garbage can outside that night.

Overall, I'm going to give this place 3.5 stars out of five.  We're willing to give this resort another try since new resorts often have little problems to work out that will be gone by the next time you visit.  I would suggest giving the resort a try because we've heard through the grapevine that they will be increasing their prices soon.  I would also be willing to bet in a few years they won't be so isolated anymore as other companies will start building there as well.  Tulum is a great place to visit because most of the tourists are in Cancun and Playa Del Carmen so it's less busy and more laid back.

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For those who are more interested in exploring the swinging lifestyle, check out my book Swinging 101:  A Couples Lifestyle Primer.      On sale right now for just $2.99 at Amazon!

My Book is Officially Available

My book is officially available.   I could hardly contain my excitement as I tried to sleep last night.   From now until May 21st, you can download the book for free.   I would really appreciate any positive and/or constructive reviews from people.   It can be downloaded for free by clicking on the link.

Less Than 10 Hours Away

In less than 10 hours, my little guide on swinging will be released as an Amazon Kindle download.   It's weird being a brand new author because you don't know what to really expect.

No matter what though, I took a chance and did something that most people are afraid of doing, so even if only one person downloads the book, I'll consider it a success.

Right now I'm #171, 523 in the Paid Kindle store.   Maybe by end of tomorrow I can be up to #171,520 LOL.



Update:

As of 9:20 am 5/17/15 , my book is #13902 in Free Kindle Books, and #23 for the category of Sex.   Not too shabby.

The People Have Spoken

Well, the people have spoken.   Looks I have my new book cover.   Thank you to everyone who helped me pick it out.    Even if only one person downloads this book I'll consider it a great success.    Good luck to all the other aspiring authors!

Which Book Cover Should I Use?

So the final editing for my book is almost complete, and I'd love to get your opinion on which book cover looks the best.

Never Buy a Woman Drinks

Never buy a woman a drink in a club, unless you're out on a date with her.  I'm sure the few women reading this will discard what I'm saying and call me a cheapskate, but hear me out.

When I was single, I took great pride in never buying drinks for women, because I ultimately knew it was just a waste of money.  Why waste money on watered down, overpriced drinks just to get a woman's attention?  You buy a drink has nothing to do with that woman like you or possibly going home with you.  As a matter of fact, there are plenty of women who specifically go to the club looking for guys to buy them drinks and they never have any intention of giving out their phone number, let alone going home with someone.

They will only take enough money with them for the entrance fee and to buy one drink, because they know they can get some poor sucker to buy them drinks for the rest of the night if they bat their eyelashes in the right way or shake their ass.  

The worst offenders are the females who actually have the balls to ask you to buy them a drink.  A female who does this is NOT interested in you, it's because she thinks you're a simpleton who's dumb enough to do it.   If she was really feeling you, she would be too afraid of asking you something like that because she'd be too worried about offending you.  If a woman ever asks you to buy her a drink, there are two correct responses.  The first response is "No".  The second correct response is "I'll buy you a drink on our first date".

I broke my rule about buying drinks ONE time.   I was at the club with a friend and he had these two women sit down at our table.  He proceeded to buy the one he was interested in a drink, and I just rolled my eyes at the thought.  Well, I didn't want to be a complete jackass so I bought her friend a drink too.  We were all talking for about 10 minutes and the two women said they'd be right back as they had to go to the bathroom.  

Well, I pretty much knew what was happening, so I decided to let it play out.  Sure enough 5 minutes later I looked and those two women were out on the dance floor dancing with two other guys, drinks in hand.   I pointed this out to my friend and I stated "THAT is why you don't buy females drinks!".  I almost considered walking over and taking the drink I bought out of her hand and gulping it down in her face.   So what if she would've called me an asshole, she wasn't interested in me anyway.

If you're in such a hurry to waste your money, just go to your local strip club.  At least you'll get to see some tits and ass for your money.

Becoming a Sex Author

So I've pretty much finished writing my first short e-book for Kindle, now comes the fun part.   I'm shopping around for a great artist who will provide the graphic design for my book.

I've also seriously started thinking about trademarking a brand name I have in mind, and then I'll start selling my own products as well.  I've given a few people my e-book to read, which will be based on the swinging lifestyle so of course only my closest friends will be getting a copy to proofread. 

If you're an aspiring business owner, always remember that even if you fail you've still won.  You were willing to do what most people are too lazy and afraid to do, and that in itself is a victory.

It feels like a million things are running around in my head right now, and I can't believe that it's taken me all these years to get on the path of entrepreneurship.    I've so excited about the possibilities I can hardly focus on anything at work.   I spend half of my time brainstorming new product ideas and marketing strategies.

Like I've said before, the only difference between you and people like Bill Gates is they made their choices in life, and you made yours.   Let 2015 be the year of no more excuses.

A New Beginning

Well, Google suspended my first blog  because of inappropriate pictures, but I'm back!

A lot has happened since I last posted.   I've graduated and got my Bachelors degree, I'm now working in a new job, and I've started my MBA studies.

This blog will still talk about swinging, sexuality, religion, business ownership, and all of the other things I love talking about.  I'm also going to be talking about dream building and achieving your goals.   I've always wanted to make money on my own terms, and I've decided that this is the year I'm finally going to make that happen.

Hopefully you'll join me on my journey as I discuss my triumphs as well as my failures.